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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

 

She Didn't Lie

After a week of scans and blood tests----today was the day for the bladder scope. The nurse told me to disrobe from the waist down. After doing so I realized that women look sexy when all they have on is a man's shirt. I looked ridiculous!

I was told to cover myself with the large paper towel they gave me and to lie on the bed covered with pads. I did so for about ten minutes. My pecker was shrinking about a 1/2 inch a minute from fear. That is when the old nurse walked in and pulled the terry-cloth from my manhood.

She yanked a hold of my pecker and announced loudly, "This is going to hurt!" She didn't lie!

I let out a scream.

She said, "Un-clinch your rectum muscles and it won't hurt as much."

I tried to do so. After a long moment the pain subsided. I asked, "Is it over?"

She laughed and said, "All I did was insert the pain killer with a cotton swap. The Doctor will be in in a minute."

OH SHIT!

The Doctor pulled out a gun with a 1/4 inch diameter twenty inch long barrel. I realized that was what he was going to insert into my piss hole. I was worried about the first eight inches.

"This will not be pleasant." He said. It wasn't.

I was laying their in pain and he announced, "Now this is going to be the painful part."

I let out an involuntary scream. The gun was filling me up with distilled water. I begged him to stop. The torture continued for another minute or two. Then the 1/4 rod finally came out painfully.

The Doctor pointed at a potty chair in the corner and told me to empty my bladder. It was like pissing razor blades. A solid red stream filled the plastic tank.

"Is this normal?" I asked.

"Yep" he said, "The good news it's not bladder cancer---the bad news is we still don't know what it is. We'll have to do more tests."

These fuckers are cruel. I'm still pissing razors and blood tonight.

Thanks for the thoughts though. Joke amongest yourselves until I'm back.

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