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Thursday, March 30, 2006

 

Easy

Madman,
I need your opinion. Do you think that if a person is a nympho that automatically makes her a whore? I am always horny. I could have sex at any given moment. I am always thinking about sex. I can turn anything into something sexual, a situation, an innocent comment, anything. Do you think I have a problem and should seek sex therapy? Do you think my therapist would bang me?
Need it Now

Dear Needs it Now,

Of couse you are not a whore----you are a slut. Whores get paid. That being said---some of my best friends are sluts. As far as sex therapy----no way! YES--You are a sick puppy---but why would you cure a disease where the symptoms feel so damn good?

Madman
Madman's Advice Blog

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

 

Thanks Sista!

Madman,

I am a 19 yearold girl who lives in a small Texas town. My older sister has had sex with every boy who has ever asked her out since she was 13. All the boys think I am the same just because we are sisters. Should I say something to my sister?

Good Sister

Dear Good Sister,
Yes--you should thank her, because you will never have to fill out one of those free match.com profiles. You can get all the dates you want--and you didn't even have to swallow in the back seat of a mini-van. Your sister has a problem---have her email me her phone number so I can counsel her privately.

Madman
Madman's Advice Blog

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

 

Band of Blubber!

Madman,

My friend is wanting to have the lap band surgery, or gastric bypass. She is not morbidly obese. I think she is border line. She could exercise and watch what she eats to loose weight and get back in shape. She has a knack for taking the easy way out. I keep telling her that this is not a cure all and she will stil have to excercise and eat healthy, you can't just get it done and still sit around and scarf. She really wants my support on this.What should I do?
Friend of a lazy ass

Dear Friend of Lazy ASS

I would buy her a feather and teach her to stick it down her throat. She needs to become Bulimic--either way she will have a eating disorder. At least this way she will be skinny without having surgery.

Madman

Madman's Advice Blog


Monday, March 27, 2006

 

Duhhhh!!!

Madman,

What gives an arrogant asshole the right to give advice?

pissed

Dear Pissed,

I assume you are speaking of Dr. Phil. I think he has a PHD.

Madman
Madman's Advice Blog

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