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Friday, March 10, 2006


A Friend In Need????


I do not know what to do. I have a very good friend who is always asking to
see my breasts. His argument is always the same, "What could it hurt?". I
guess nothing, but won't this effect our friendship? I mean first it's
"Show me your breasts", then it's "I'll only put it in for a minute!". What
should I do? Show the girls or not?

Blushing Breasts

Dear Blushing Breasts,

I cannot believe that you even asked this question! I think you know the right thing to do. How could you deny a "good friend" such an easy favor? You are despicable!!!!!


Thursday, March 09, 2006


Where's Granny


What happened to the days when Grandparents loved to watch the Grandkids? My Husband and I deserve a night out now and then. My Mom won't watch her own Grandchildren! She must have never heard that it takes a village to raise a child. What should I tell her?

Needs a break today

Dear needs a break today

Was your Mother there when your husband squirted the sperm into you? If the answer is no--then leave the old lady alone. It doesn't take a village---it takes two parents to stay at home ,not getting blasted, and not being unfaithfull, to raise a kid. People deserve what they can afford. If you can't afford a babysitter--- then stay the fuck at home with your brat!


Wednesday, March 08, 2006


Crotch Itch


Why do people call them crabs? I prefer "Schlong Lice" . Is this an appropriate description? I don't wanna look foolish if I refer to them incorrectly.

A steamy heap of thanks!
A Female Lost for the Right Words

Dear Lost for the Right Words

I think the word "Schlong" should not be used when describing these bugs. I have been to the Walgreen's and have seen two full isles of pussy products. Creams, ointments, sprays, pads, and other products are sold to keep the vagina clean and smelling pretty. The only male product sold, condoms, are made to protect the penis from the tunnel of love. I think a better nickname would be "pussy pests" or "clit critters." I am sure other bloggers will have some thoughts.


Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Up or Down?


My girlfriend is constantly bitching because I always leave the toilet seat up after I use her bathroom. What should I tell her?

Needs a Urinal

Dear Needs a Urinal,

You ain't gonna win this one. It happened to me and I gave in. Go ahead and promise her you will always leave it down, but also tell her you're going to dump her if she starts whinning about the piss on her ass!


Monday, March 06, 2006


Consolation Titles

Rachael--MS. Blogger 2006

Whistler + RLB---Ms. Best two-some

My Ex-Assistant---Ms. Luckiest-Lady-to work with Madman

C-U-LAY-TA---Ms. Best Hustler

Jungle Jane--Ms. Best tattoo+ piercing

Y--Ms. Most likely to grow up to be a porn star

Rae Ann--Ms. Best Constitution

Kat--Ms. Most likely not to give head

Eatmisery--Ms. Best Demi Moore impression

Roximoon--Ms. Most likely to meet at a sex addict meeting


SAM--Ms. Best Pussy Picture

Melissa--Ms. Scoopy Friend

Boobless Brigade Master--Ms. First Bald Woman Madman Developed a Crush on!

Shannon--Ms. Candy Stripper

Chackler--Ms. Most likely to leave her husband for Popeye

Alana--Ms. Disqualified

Josh Williams--Mr. Disqualified


And The Winner Is....

Rachael ! Rachael!

Congratulations to Rachael--she is MS. Blogger 2006!!!
And thanks to all the contestants and voters for participating.
Following are the duties to be performed by MS. Blogger 2006:

1. You must post on the index of your blog the following:
"Winner of the 2006 Ms. Blogger Contest"

2. You must post a lengthy and boring acceptance speech thanking me, God, and everyone who ever helped you do anything!

3. Next January you must host the 2007 MS. Blogger contest and pass the crown to the next blogger beauty.

Consolation titles will be handed out latter!


The Contest is Over!!!

Sorry Alana---it was pointed out to me that rule number one stated:

1. Send a picture along with the name of you and your blog address to

Since you have no blog address you are not eligible--but you are pretty!

The crowning of MS Blogger 2006 will take place later tonight!
Any votes cast after 9:30 am central time will not count!

My advice blog will begin Tuesday!

Thank you to all who participated in this contest.

Sunday, March 05, 2006



I'm in the process of re-inventing the old blog. I figured I'd try to enter, even though I don't have a blog @ this exact moment, I do have a profile. :-) So here's my pic. It's from this past Christmas @ El presidente's Million Dollar Mansion. (if you notice, I'm sitting in>front of the liquor table...)

No Blog but she still could be MS BLOGGER 2006---if ya leave some comments!!

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