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Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Ms. Blogger Beauty Contest Rules!!

1. Send a picture along with the name of you and your blog address to <madmaniscrazy@hotmail.com> before 1/30/06.

2. The picture must be of you---but can it be from any age. Please give the year the picture was taken.

3. Complete nudity will not be posted---but Mr. G and I will look at it a few times. (no "Hustler" type shots please:)

4. A corny short bio is optional. Wishing for "World Peace" in it is always good!

5. All photos will be posted for 24 hours--voting for that contestant can continue throughout the contest in the archives.

6. Each comment posted is a vote. A positive or negative comment will be counted as a positive vote.

7. You can vote for as many contestants as you want--but only one vote per 24 hour period will be counted.

8. Covering the face partially to remain anonymous is acceptable.

9. No wagering please!

10. The winner will be crowned "Ms. Prettiest Blogger of 2006"--the tierra will be emailed.

GOOD LUCK! Tell all your friends!!! I will be out of town on business until 1/23/06.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


The Secret Beauty Contest

About 15 years ago I held a secret Beauty Contest at work. It was a secret for two reasons. 1. All the women in the company were automatically entered into the contest without their knowledge. 2. Only the men had a vote---though it was a secret ballet. I basically walked around with a cap and asked all the men to write who they thought was the prettiest woman (girl) that worked for the company and drop it in. We were just having a bit of fun.

After I counted and tallied the votes, I typed (my assistant actually typed) the results for the men to see--listing all 15 women and the amount of votes they were awarded. Old gay Pete couldn't help but sharing the shit with the rest of the Data Entry Dept. I was in trouble again!

Now the HR Girl had not received one vote---I think that is why I was reprimanded and called a misogynist. Which is not true---I love women. If I didn't make the company a butt-load of money--I think the brass might have gotten mad too. They just laughed silently.

I mention this for a reason. Would anyone think I was a misogynist, or an asshole, if I had a Blogger Beauty Contest. There are a lot of pretty Bloggers out there. I would paste a different photo of these pretty things, er-girls, on my blog--and each comment that day would count as a vote. Now I know some of you might not want to participate---but if I can copy your picture---then congratulations and thanks for entering...

Monday, January 09, 2006


Willie and the possum

Cletus, our new warehouse manager, stood at my office door and said, "We got a problem in the receiving department, we can't unload a truck!"


"Cause there's a possum in the truck and Jeff (the forklift driver) says he ain't going back in the truck until its gone."

I had to see this. When I got to the warehouse a half-a-dozen workers were peering out of a dock door into a half unloaded truck of sheet metal. They all look frightened. I took the flashlight from Tiny and entered the vehicle. All eyes were upon me. Two rows of pallets lined the truck, with only a small aisle space between them. I squeezed my fat body in between the skids and scooted slowly towards the back.

Now the only thing I knew about possums is that Granny of the Beverly Hill-Billies would cook them. If that old-lady wasn't afraid neither was I---until my light hit the trapped animal. Its eyes were red and it exposed its teeth as it reared up on its back legs and made a sound that scared the shit out of me. I couldn't get out of the trailer fast enough. The men looked at me like I let them down.

"Sometimes those possums have rabies" I explained, "Where's Willie?!"

The men reverberatted in agreement. We needed Willie. Willie is a 64 year-old black man who "ain't afraid of nothing". He weighs about 140 and is about 6 foot three---but Willie has been to Vietnam! He also likes to tell the story about how when he was a 17 year-old Cowboy in East Texas---during spring round-up one year he bit a calves nuts off --"just 'cause!"

Willie walked up looking a bit nervous----but his reputation was on the line. If he turned down this mission he would be branded as a coward ---and most likely be forced to take an early retirement. Willie entered the trailer with a flashlight and a 1" diameter steel rod about six foot long.

The banging and hissing went on far too long. It was awful. Willie let out a few cuss words and I almost called 911. Then silence. Willie walked out with a possum on a stick. He triumphantly marched his prey to the dumpster. The men followed in a parade and cheered!

I bought Willie a Diet Coke and gave him an extra 15 minute break. Willie will be employee of the month and get to park right up front beside me. Willie is now a living legend. Way to go Willie!

Sunday, January 08, 2006


An Act of terrorism

In 1946 the British occupied Palestine in order to try to keep Peace. There were Jewish "freedom fighters" who wanted those folks out of town so they could pursue forming a state of Israel. Menahem Begin and others blew up the King David Hotel-- killing 91 people, including some British Officers along with many innocent civilians. The terrorism worked---the British cleared out of the country and Israel was soon formed.

Most scholars agree modern terrorism was born that day---targeting civilians and non-military targets on a small scale to win a political view. In latter years the PLO used this same pattern for their "freedom fighting." However, most Israelites and Americans refuse to acknowledge the connection.

Until all terrorism is condemned--past and present---then terrorism will continue to be used as a tool to achieve political goals. I want to see peace in that region---but both sides need to look truthfully at the terrors commited---and condemn those who still want to perpetuate this war. Both sides need a country where they can live securely---it won't happen until both sides admit their own contribution to terror.

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