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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

 

WTF?

I am not sure anyone still reads this site--but I am asking for advice. I got out of the hospital today and should be back to work Monday. They have stopped the blood from dripping out of my ass by putting me on two different steroids. OH WELL!

My question is this. My Doctors have limited my diet.

NO carps or sugars due to diabetics

NO Fresh Fruits, vegetables, or High Fiber Foods due to my Ulcerative Colitis

NO fried foods due to my high cholesterol.

NO Dairy due to my digestive problems

NO fatty meats or salt due to High Blood pressure.

NO lat night snacks due to my reflux.

SERIOUSLY---WTF am I supposed to live on---boiled chicken and baby food?

Menu plans anyone??

Comments:
holy shit that fucking blows, did you ask them what they suggest you eat?
 
Oh my god, I have no idea. What's left? I guess they want you to live off of Ensure or something. I've been worried about you.
 
That sucks!!!

I didn't see anything aobut liquor so burbon straight up it is. ;)
 
Geez Madman !!!!

that...uh...sucks. No idea here, maybe Ensure like rae ann said ?
 
Oh MM that so sucks, but it sounds as though you'll never have to worry about being over weight.
LOL Ney I'm with you baby!
 
Pretend you're stranded on a deserted Island. Fish man. And they're chickens on the Island.

And then you find an old clay tablet with the secret of self-healing chiseled in by a wise shaman. And it teaches you a mystic prayer that can help heal any illness or battle wound:

"Dear God, or whoever. I love you. And I love my illness because it is a part of me. And I love me. So I ask you my body, to fix yourself. Heal this illness so everything works smooth again. Take your time, but hurry up. Thanks. Amen.”

I did this prayer on a tumor and varicose veins and they’re both gone now. All I did was this prayer, then two months later, I happened to check myself out, and I was healed!!!

So it may be worth a try man. I’m going to try it on my gray hair and age spot next.

I imagine it probably won’t work too well if you just got your arm chopped off, or just fell off a tall building, but your case is not that bad; you’re just on an Island with chickens…
 
I vote for pussy juice. Did they say anything about alcohol? 'Cause a pussy juice cocktail would certainly make ya feel better!
 
They need to give you some idea of what you CAN eat. Fish, baked poultry, oatmeal. Or just everything in moderation. I wish you luck. You'll be thin as a rail before you know it.

What are hot dogs considered?
 
Damn, man! You're gonna friggin starve to death.

That's the worst diet I ever heard of.

eatmisery, what are you thinkin? dogs are teaming with carbs.

How about cats?

Seriously, Mad. This bites it. I don't know what I'd do, cept possibly drive everybody around me nuts with my whining and bitching.
 
madman-of COURSE we still read this!! and this is AWFUL for you! i'm definitely not a dietician, but my suggestion would be...oatmeal, wheat toast with peanut butter, ummm, i'm sure mashed potatoes are out, but is stuff like mac & cheese? if all else fails, i guess that does leave ensure...just make sure you keep it refrigerated, it's much better cold!!
 
tofu and bottled water
 
wow. I'm sorry to hear this... I'm diabetic and it's a pain just to deal with THAT part, let alone all the other... You poor guy. I would expect them to send you to a dietician to help with menus and to let you know what is okay to eat. That's the least they could do...
 
Hey. Welcome back. I haven't been here forever.

R. stole my thunder. I was gonna say whisky and One A Day vitamins. That oughta do ya right!

Sorry I don't have anything more productive to offer. Maybe you should have your Dr. refer you to a dietician.
 
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