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Monday, April 10, 2006


A Thief In The Night??

Dear Madman:

Some neighbors down the street have hung little robots (or Wizard of Oz Tinmen as a friend pointed out) on the tree in their front yard. My inner (delinquent) child wants to sneak down there one night and steal them. What the fuck should I do?


Dear juvenile,

After seeing the picture, I realize why someone invented "Home Owners Associations." If you steal those robots I am certain someone's wife will thank you. So---Go For It! Err---but don't rat on me--I might get charged with conspiracy for giving this advice.

Madman's Advice Blog

No, you might break some poor little girls heart--who probably made them.

I'd sneak over there and hang some Barbie dolls by the neck, next to the tin men. They'll get the message, and the girl will have some new toys.
I fucking hate theives, so I suggest you cut your inner childs hand off like they do in Iraq and that'll stop the little fucker from flinching shit again. Besides, if you want one so bad, , make your own fucking tinman. Of course I would suggest you get someone with two hands to make it for you, it'll be a lot easier that way.
OMG - you found my monster in law's house!!!

beat the little tin bastards out of the tree and that damn easter egg looking kite thingy too....

go late at night, wear masks and bring dead cat carcasses to distract her with....

i thank you a thousand times over.....

Dear Jevenile ;), please never grow up. Go snatch the tin men!!! And while your at it put a for sale sign up at their house.
I think they were put there for the neighbors to use for target practice. What nice people, giving you something to shoot at and asking nothing in return.
HAHAHAHA that's the most retarded thing I have ever seen in my life.

I too would have the urge to get them however I think vince was right on, your going to make a little one cry. It's not worth it.
I agree with almigo. Totally. Theives are the SCUM of the earth! And I'm a proud Redneck who would love to have some cute Tin Men hanging in my yard. I think I'll go make some... And if anybody tries to steal them they'll get their arm shot off!
I want one.. hook me up too!
What a waste of perfectly good garbage!
one of the production managers I work with makes these!! LOL
MM - why would you post a picture of Cletus' and BN's love nest?
My evil step-grandma has one of those!!
Stealing them could get you in trouble, and you don't want that! Instead, just break them. Gaudy doesn't stop them, but perhaps spray painted black would be just bad enough to get them to take them down. Take pictures before hand just in case you are caught destroying property. If you show the judge the monstrosety you are trying to hide, he's sure to go easy on ya.
Haha I would TOTALLY punk those. Or even paint them black like ME said...that way they get more of a hint! Also I agree with ME on the taking photos part...smart girl! The judge would totally take your side!!
I agree with vince, some kid might have made them, so don't steal them.
VINCE--LOL--err--but that's what John Wayne Gacey did as a child

ALMIGO--Fucking funny--maybe a bit extreme??

AZ--LOL--damn-I guess you and your MIL aren't real close?

R--lol--the real estate agents would love you

DOD--I do agree

RAE-ANN--WOW--did I ever tell ya I like redneck girls??

ROXIMOON--the little fuckers will be on E-Bay next week

MARKD--clever, that made me laugh

SHERRI--Funny--tell him to watch for thieves

EX---DAMN IT--these people are anonymous

JILL--LOL--I never had an evil grandma-ma

ME--good thinking. you would make a good mastermind

BEEZ--you would make a good criminal
SHITZ+GRINS--I'm with you--there has to be a reason for this madness! You win the BAT (Best Advice Today) Good shooting!
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