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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

 

Stinkin' Marriage

MADMAN

I dated my wife for three years before we married and she never farted in front of me. Now she rips them off like she is trying to win a contest. Is this normal?

Whiffer

Dear Whiffer

Yes it is normal----FOR SHEEP HERDERS OR ESKIMOS! Women ain't supposed to fart around their men. I have been trying to explain this to my wife for the last 22 years. OH---by the way---she's an Eskimo.

Madman
Madman's Advice Blog

Comments:
Any modern day scientist will tell you that women are born with out fart glands.If a woman farts then she is genetically a male and that makes you a very liberal person if you are married to a "farter" as the modern day scientists have labled them, or in Latin if you insist "farter".The spelling is the same because the latin translation for fart is fart, which means fart is a latin word and that means a fart is a fart is a fart. Sorry I just needed to clear the air. JW
 
mm - you make me laugh so hard.....(i swear i've never seen you naked....DOH!.....just kidding)
 
Quit whinging. You finally have the right, nay, a damn legal obligation to release the WICKED GLASS BREAKING FART OF DEATH FROM THE SEVEN BOWELS OF HELL whenever you damn well please because the woman has thrown down the gauntlet. Think of those poor little kiddies in that backwater African nation that will never get that right. So don't waste your opportunity, crack one off over her head while she's sleeping and watch your high score go through the roof!
 
Haha Farting sometimes is OK!!...BUT letting them rip on a regular basis is SICK...

However, if a woman farts it’s actually called a TOOT. Women shouldn’t let them rip, that’s what men do!!! So ladies TOOT...or don’t TOOT...BUT don’t let one rip!!!!! lol
 
I NEVER fart in front of anyone, husband included! LOL
 
I wouldn't marry a chick that wouldn't fart around me.

I suggest the next time you are both in bed, pull the old "dutch oven" on her. Let it rip and pull the covers over her head. That should teach her who's boss.
 
Oh grow up! Everyone farts. What you need to figure out is why your wife is using farts to punish you. Is your willy too little?
 
I whip 'em loose all the time, there is more room on the outside than on the end.
 
whoops. that should have said on the in.
 
I recall many moons ago at a cocaine party being very amused by a sweet heart of a guy that was horror stricken by a woman that had farted near him. He went on to explain to her that ladies didn't fart - they poofed and that what she had just done was fart and that was wrong. I was ROTFLMAO. I would never fart in front of hubby, some things are sacred.
 
well, who did it first? if it was you, you asked for it!!
 
NOPE!! SOOOO not right. I'd never EVER let one loose in front of my guy. Not even Ex's would hear me!! Well, there was this one time, but it was his fault! You force something in one end of a tube and see if it doesn't come out the other!!! Too much info huh? Damn, I gotta work on that.
 
That poor science experiment gerbal....:D
 
JOSH-thank ypu for edumacating me.

AZ--LMAO!

BEEZALEEZ--LOL--Well tooting or pooting is not a good way to keep a relationship going,

SHERRI--I admire you!!

RAE ANN--Now damn it! We can't grow up---but farts are only funny when men do it!


ME---LOL---butt fuck--that was funny!


CULAYTA--good philosophy---I wpouldn't want you to get sick!

SHITZ + GRINS--So the girl was tooting at both ends??

LIBBY--Nice point!!
 
ALMIGO and DOD win the BAT! ALMIGO because he gave me a good game ides and DOD because he made it clear that farting is a god given right for both sexes!!
 
dude.. farting in front of your man makes the problem of having to have sex with him go away.. especially if you fart on his wanker..
 
Well if women don't snore, fart, or belch...then they must bitch or they will explode!!!
 
As long as she doesn't pull the covers over my head, I'm ok with it...as long as I don't get shit when I fart! (no pun intended)
 
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