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Friday, November 18, 2005

 

Sexretary Of State

R has volunteered to be my Secretary of State. I need to make sure she has the ability to say "Fuck You!"

EXAMPLE: If I spend the whole day dogging my wife about her lavish lifestyle and her paying only the minimum payments on her maxed out credit cards---then when I have the nerve to suggest sex that same night, I know I will get a loud "FUCK YOU!"

The problem is my Wife is the only one in our relationship who has the pussy. The analogy here is that America is the only country in the world that has the wealth of a super-power nation. So when countries like France or some other third world backward country comes around begging us to help with a natural disaster or civil war---R will need to read the recent press clippings about that countries attitude. If they aren't sweet and nice about our actions and wasteful ways, then they get no pussy--er--foreign aide.

So I need some good "Fuck You" s posted on the comment field before I can pass R through the confirmation hearings. OH--and a link that says "Madman For President" couldn't hurt.

I am leaving town for the weekend. I will read your blogs Sunday and will address the VP issue. Have a Happy Weekend All!

 

Kennedy And I

Mr-G commented that John F Kennedy had class. Well--Kennedy and I have a lot in common. He had to take the following meds just to function; lomotil, percadan, amphetamine, prednizone, morphine, and some anti-inflammatory drugs. Hell --I took all of those and more just this morning. So--I think if being a prescription drug addict is a prerequisite to running this country--I am your man! Unlike Kennedy I won't be taking any convertible rides in Dallas.

I make the following promises if I am elected---I won't blow up the world and I won't use any spin doctors! I will tell it like it is. Now I know the election is several years out---but I checked the polls and my recognition factor is lagging far behind the Bush. I need to get started now.

So I am asking for three things from the Blog Party. 1. Spread the word that Madman is running for President. 2. Please send me any extra drugs -er meds- you may have in your bathroom. 3. Let me know what issues concern you---I will address each and everyone one of you.

Oh--when I win I will need help moving into the White House. I have a bad back--but I will buy the beer.

MADMAN FOR PRESIDENT! er--my drug dealer came up with that slogan---feel free to spread it around.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

 

Slick Willie

A fellow blogger mentioned Billy Boy Clinton. Now I will be the first to admit that our economic stability seemed a bit better off with President Clinton. I do not even hold the fact that he lied and had his little Willie sucked, while in office, against him. HOWEVER--after hearing all the Monica-Gate testimony I have decided he should be remembered as a selfish bastard.

I heard about stains on the sweater--so I know Billy got his gratification, but what about poor old Monica. There was no testimony about him ever going down on her. They both testified no penetration ever took place. Even when she was begging for it---HE USED A GOD DAMN CIGAR! Hey--that could cause some kind of feminine cancer. This tells me that the Prez wouldn't , or couldn't, give the Polock what she needed. Even Fat Girls need to be fucked now and then!. I cannot abide with a man like that having a library named after him--even if it is in Arkansas!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

 

Hot Button

Abortion seems to be an issue that everyone has a opinion on.

SO---To you far right assholes---you seem to be the ones who spend time, money, and energy making sure babies jump out of vaginas like clowns jump out of little cars! Yet--you also seem to be the same ones who want to cut the needed funds to make sure these little bastards don't have a nice modern prison to live in! You also are the first to say the death penalty is a great deterrent to crime! So if you want to stand in a protest line crying to save these little fetus thugs---then adopt one. When they grow up and kill your family---we will detour them from doing it again with a lethal injection! If that doesn't work for you--then shut the fuck up and let these horny women have the right to kill their own kids if they need to. Mother knows best!

To you far left assholes who think the government should pay for abortions----you need to spend a dollar on a condom, or hand out coat hangers to those women who don't want to take responsibility for spreading their own legs after a night of drinking cheap wine and tooting meth! It is not the governments fault you didn't put a raincoat on the penis you allowed stuck up in your body!

If you want the right to kill a mistake---then pay for that right with your money and your guilt. Don't look elsewhere for help!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

 

A Change Is Coming

I am not sure if anyone will ever read my blog again! Due to recent events in my life I have changed the title and intentions of this blog. As a Sales Manager I am trained not to discuss religion, politics, or anything that may offend. I have decided that life is to short to always be diplomatic--SO FUCK IT! This will now be one place in my short life I will say whatever the fuck I want to say. If you don't like what I write---post a God-Damn comment and tell me about it!

Let me start by saying I hate the far left and the far right. If you fall in either of these categories you are fucking lopsided fool, and someone needs to kick your head back into a reasonable balance!

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